and then, well, there was this:

a calm, quiet break up of a long, dramatic relationship.
i signed up for an online dating service within the hour, cut my hair withing 24, and painted my nails a deep dark red within the week.
i started eating normally the next day.
i ran into him two days later, at a coffeeshop and other than the awkward hug it wasn't, well, awkward.

it certainly wasn't what i thought would happen this year, but i made it so. and so now, for the first time 2 and half years, i'm single. i don't have the first idea of what to do.

oh oh oh! looky here---returning to past things. it's been over a year! and oh my hell. i mean really: a new house, a new(ly public) relationship, a new plan.

i hate all that big big catching up talk, even when it's me and my best friend that i haven't seen in seven months, i just want the NOW how are you NOW what's happening NOW stuff. oh you know.

so, in honor of that:

right now i'm sitting on my (much hated, i've been saving for months to replace) couch with an empty wine glass (same old same old there) next to me, as well as a check from c., the bf, for my old (cracked screen) iphone (told you i'd get one!) that he sold on ebay for me, except it's a little weird as the check still has his (not technically for another month) ex-wife's name on it, so it looks like i'm cashing $170 from her, which is crazy cause she doesn't know about me, but if she did she'd probably want to cut off my ears (or boobs, whatevs).
the (much hated, i've been saving for months to replace) couch is in the living room of the new house with the way too long lawn because oh-my-hell i had an emergency appendectomy last week and i keep thinking i'll mow but i don't want to have to do the laundry (grass clippings make me itch) and also it's been storming like crazy here and even this new-home-owner-novice knows wet grass is no good.
the wet grass is in atl, where i'm still living, and working with the preggies and with the theater but i'm dreaming up my 2010 life and i think it might include a little more of the school (!!!!) and a little less of the managing director hoohah.
all is exciting and well (except for the whole appendix thing, which was a nightmare of fever and drugs and NOT LOSING A SINGLE POUND even though i was on a liquid diet for a week. right?? insanity) and warm. welcome back yo.

texts currently in my inbox:

no go on the jello shots o well
upstairs or downstairs bedroom?
Dr. Apt Tomorrow at 9AM!!
Have a shot ready in 7 minutes
I'm not your beach, bitch
New comic
mind blowing indeed
dad is bottling wine. call if you can!
so happy.
eli has a slight case of downs syndrome
feeling much better though i am feeling it in my vagina so maybe she is turning head down
and i thought assgrab was bad
watching people eat is hard
want some company in the morn?
how heavy is our bookshelf without anything in it?
uh oh egg jacuzzi
i've sustained more head injurys than i've had sexual partners
remember when you were gonna wear pasties?

file under: "dating, yes it really is this wack":

on friday night a boy (i had seen once before) leaned over and bit my shoulder. at the beginning of the night.

yeah, it was a short night.

portland to blond, in photos.
excel, kitty, wine, rain (portland)
champagne, resolutions, of montreal (coast)

red, blond, red, laugh (atlanta)

things i love:
(pics soon)

the space heater i've hauled around for the last 2 years, and am just now re-introducing.
my momma's old cowboy boots.
short deep red fingernails.
not knowing why the ex is flying in tomorrow.
cheap, sassy, wide legged dark blue jeans.
texts from boys with ducatis.
the new york gals.
imagining a new life in a new city with a new job.
my new title (managing director) on the website.
boys that can dance, and then ask for my number.
the sweet design for the next tattoo.
comfortably wearing the size clothes i wore in high school.
nachos with fake cheese.
michael cera in juno.
the feeling after the ouch in getting my eyebrows waxed.

as if i could love this american life anymore, they've gone and done this.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
completed a triathlon, got to call myself a managing director, traveled to the west coast (for fun, not work) every month from August to December

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I was supposed to make a recipe a week, which only happened for the first two months.
This year: to complete an Olympic distance triathlon

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope, but my sister’s gonna go in March. (!)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Phew, and thanks.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year, but so! much! domestic! traveling!

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A clearer, louder artistic voice in the company. Full gratitude for the perks of my job(s).

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 22—the big Game, which was preceded by a month of me losing my mind and Oct 31, the big bash success of an opening of Meds.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Completing my first triathlon on May 5th in 1:40.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Umm….no super cute haircut?

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No. No hospital stays, which is incredible.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
2006 silver Vespa.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My parents have kicked their 57 year old selves into shape.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A high school best friend, living in her parents basement.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Traveling. Rent. Booze and Chinese. The usual suspects.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing friends. Dragonys! Pat and Amanda! Erin! Erin! Heather! New Florida friends!

Also, vespa!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Feist: 1234

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier, and more articulate about what makes me sad.
b) thinner or fatter? About 4 lbs thinner.
c) richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Wish I had started walking outside earlier, listening to This American Life.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Crying about the Game.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With the brothers and their wives, and a serious case of bronchitis.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Close. And fell out of love with a few: B. and S.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
The Bachelor. Yep.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
American Pastoral.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Avett Brothers. Dr. Dog. Elvis Perkins. Of Montreal. Feist Bonnaroo.

26. What did you want and get?
100% out of debt.

27. What did you want and not get?
An iPhone, but it’s coming.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Knocked Up.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 25. Was in San Diego for the actual day, and got my first (ouch) facial. There was a big party a few weeks before at Sean’s, with enough hot buttered rum and pumpkin bread pudding to last me another year.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to openly celebrate and discuss the early morning fun of November and December.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Increasingly sassy.

32. What kept you sane?
Books and red wine. Maia and Ariel. Ogy. Walks on Freedom Path.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Judd Apatow.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Medical things: the capitalization of birth, the shitiness of insurance, lack of access to medical services.

35. Who did you miss?
While I got to see her so much (!) this year, I missed Ogy daily. Also, the New York crew: Hedu, Darcy, Brit and Kate.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
In terms of fun, certainly Chris. No match.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
The south has taught me how to be myself in infinity more situations. People are attracted to energy and life and quick.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Patty Griffin's No Bad News:
We won't be afraid to be alive anymore
And we'll grow kindness in our hearts for all the strangers among us
Till there are no strangers anymore